hopeless?

June 28, 2010

Ok I’ve come to a point in my life were I just don’t know any more?I’v been rocked to my core.What if this is as good as it’s going to get for me?I don’t know if I can except that or not?I want more out of life! then a hand full of pills every day!and still not being stable I mean I’m not having a pity party but dam can’t a fella get a break just once.I’m tired of being so hopeless in my mind’s eye I just can’t look at thing’s likes every body els I’m just not wired like them and it suck to be me!I read a lot of other blog’s and see these big break troughs that they have ,”god bless them”but I just don’t see it in the cards for me.I’d scream Help but Who would answer?I want to crawl under a dam rock and stay for a couple hundred years or so! I must be from “mars” or some thing like that LOL. I got laugh or I’l cry. So till next time chow for now.:)

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Just thought you’d like to know?

June 27, 2010

Well no ones talking my sisters in her room I’m in mine and mom’s in her’s what a way to end the day! I’ll keep this short and sweet as I’m at loss for the words to type  but I’ll do my best.It’s like the walls have been closing in on me all day,this dam room is like a cell with out the bars.More mental than any thing I just want all the crap to stop between my mom and sister.I just don’t know what to do to make things better? All my mother does is complain about my sister, I’m tired  of hearing her complain! That’s life deal with it.Any way I hope every one enjoyed there sunday? that’s about all for now so till next time chow.


A Sad Day

June 27, 2010

Well me and my mother got into a fight over my sister who is Bipolar and has borderline Personality disorder I understand it’s hard to deal with two family members who have the same mental heath problems,”But to tell them your sick of them and there problems is just wrong!”I never thought I would here words like that come from my mother??? I don’t know what to do now,I feel so unwanted like a thorn in her side,maybe I should just leave I don’t know my head is spinning  right now.I mean does she think we like being the way we are or can even help it at times?It’s no walk in the park for us either one min.your up the next your down then you might go sideways for a while it’s no joke that’s for sure,but I don’t think mom truly understands.I don’t think any one can unless you live with it. well chow for now again thank’s for your time,enjoy your sunday.


6/26/10

June 26, 2010

me

hi

Well another sleepless night these sleeping pills the doctor gave me just don’t seem to work worth a shit! It must have been at least three o’clock by the time I finely got to sleep then I was back up at five am.,just can’t shut my damn mind off.Well that dog grooming job I told you that my sister was doing well she quit today,the stress was just too much for her.having Borderline Personality disorder is a bitch!at such a young age.Any way thats been my wonderful day ya “right” I hope every one has a great weekend 🙂 chow for now


good news

June 25, 2010

After what seemed like weeks of waiting I called the mental heath clinic to find out about the app. I had put in for counseling,and what do you think they told me we seem to have lost your paper work.So after about20 min’s. on the phone we got things worked out,so any way I start counseling on 7/15/10. It took a lot for me to come to this point in my life I have a lot of demons to face,and I know it’s not going to be a walk in the park but I think I’m ready for this.time will tell right?Well on the lighter side of things I’m doing pretty good for the moment anyway I go see my shrink in about 2 weeks looking forward to that he’s a good doctor he’s the only one who could get  my meds strait.So he’s ok in my book.Well that’s about all for today,so chow for now. ps. all feed back welcome .


just for fun

June 24, 2010

Are you rapid cycling? Here are my Top 5 Ways to find Out If You’re Rapid Cycling.

#5 –  You love to ride your bike, but only over hills.

#4 – You try to use the elevator to adjust your mood swings.

#3 – You are so happy about getting a gift all you do is cry.

#2 – Your social calendar is broken up into 4 quarters around your moods.

#1 – You find yourself replacing your break pads every few months because you stop and go, stop and go, stop and go…


6/23/10

June 23, 2010

I found a website yesterday that I thought I would post It’s a mental heath support group I joined yesterday and so far they seem pretty good,any here’s the web address http://www. bipolaradvantage.com I hope y’all get a chance to check them out .They have a lot to offer and it’s not just for bipolar they deal with a wide range of mental heath problems so if you need someone to talk to give them a try,any my day is going good so far hopefully it will stay that way.Every one is doing ok I guess,my sisters still doing the dog grooming so far it’s working out for her.Well thats about it for now so chow for now.